Cutting
Last night was one of my favorite nights at high school group, ever. We talked about cutting.
The message opened up with a clip from the show "Intervention". We saw a vibrant, seemingly happy young woman talking enthusiastically about her hobbies and passions, and then it jumped to footage of her cutting herself, weeping. There was such a dramatic contrast between this woman's public and private life. It was difficult to watch.
During the message, we learned four reasons why people may inflict pain on themselves: to feel in control of at least one source of pain in their lives; to give a physical manifestation of emotional hurt; to feel anything at all; to cry for help. While I have never struggled with cutting, I know that I have done unhealthy things for some of these same reasons. It was a reminder that humans always have to do something with pain. Sometimes we choose behaviors that are ultimately ineffective, but provide a quick fix.
We also studied the story of the man who cut himself with sharp stones and was tormented by evil spirits, in Mark 5. Our pastor emphasized that cutting does NOT equal demon posession, but we were still able to draw some applications from the passage. Society treated this guy poorly, allowing him to be an outcast, and trying to control his outer behavior by binding him with chains. In contrast, Jesus addressed his inner pain.
So this is what I learned: those who are struggling with harming themselves need people to come alongside of them and explore their past and present pain with them. If we really want to help, we can't tell them to just stop doing it. We can't classify them as attention-hungry and ignore them. Truly following Jesus and loving them requires walking with them through the darkness they are experiencing and helping them find healing and wholeness. That's not an easy assignment.
A frequent thought of mine as I work with high school students is, "I'm not a psychologist!" However, I know there are ways to love and support students who are working through difficult things. I'm still trying to figure out how to do it.
The message opened up with a clip from the show "Intervention". We saw a vibrant, seemingly happy young woman talking enthusiastically about her hobbies and passions, and then it jumped to footage of her cutting herself, weeping. There was such a dramatic contrast between this woman's public and private life. It was difficult to watch.
During the message, we learned four reasons why people may inflict pain on themselves: to feel in control of at least one source of pain in their lives; to give a physical manifestation of emotional hurt; to feel anything at all; to cry for help. While I have never struggled with cutting, I know that I have done unhealthy things for some of these same reasons. It was a reminder that humans always have to do something with pain. Sometimes we choose behaviors that are ultimately ineffective, but provide a quick fix.
We also studied the story of the man who cut himself with sharp stones and was tormented by evil spirits, in Mark 5. Our pastor emphasized that cutting does NOT equal demon posession, but we were still able to draw some applications from the passage. Society treated this guy poorly, allowing him to be an outcast, and trying to control his outer behavior by binding him with chains. In contrast, Jesus addressed his inner pain.
So this is what I learned: those who are struggling with harming themselves need people to come alongside of them and explore their past and present pain with them. If we really want to help, we can't tell them to just stop doing it. We can't classify them as attention-hungry and ignore them. Truly following Jesus and loving them requires walking with them through the darkness they are experiencing and helping them find healing and wholeness. That's not an easy assignment.
A frequent thought of mine as I work with high school students is, "I'm not a psychologist!" However, I know there are ways to love and support students who are working through difficult things. I'm still trying to figure out how to do it.
posted by Amanda Lane at 10:14 AM
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