Don't give in when the deal of your life beckons
A lot of odd jobs come along with the overarching job of working for a high school ministry. Case in point: rounding up wire hangers, marshmallows, and lighter fluid on a Sunday afternoon, when I'd rather be taking a nap or watching consecutive episodes of The Office. Oh well, I guess I'm not destined for your regular 9-5. The plan for the night was to have a big (and hopefully cheap) bonfire. For the cheap part, where better to shop than the 99 Cent Store? (Yes, you're right, the 98 Cent Store would be cheaper, but that place scares me.)
Aaron and I entered the world's runoff basin of undesirable brands with hope in our hearts. We weren't looking for very weird items, and, after all, we were in Huntington Beach, which is practically the home of the beach/smore concept. Alright, it's time to run around the unlabeled aisles like scrupulous little banchees and save some money! Or win some money! SUPERMARKET SWEEP! Let's find the marshmallows . . . marshmallows . . . not in the baking aisle . . . not in the candy aisle . . . NOWHERE! Moving on to our next item, wire hangers! Nope, nary a trace of those either. How about lighter fluid? No . . . no . . . but here's a classy lighter that looks like a giant match, that'll get us some bonus points, eh?
So we ended up at the checkout with none of the things we came for, but we did have an awesome lighter, some "drain-o" (which didn't work, by the way), and a bag of Blue Raspberry Blow-Pops. I felt needy for my own candy choice, since Aaron chose the Blow-Pops, so I found a box of Dots - you know, those gumdrops things - but these weren't ordinary Dots, they were YOGURT Dots. They sounded kind-of sick, but also intriguing.
We made our purchases and piled into the car. I anxiously opened my box of Dots, and a slightly nauseating smell filled our airspace, but I was undeterred. Let me see how the orange one tastes! Hmm . . . not very awesome. In fact, very NOT awesome. I don't even want to try any of the other flavors after that one. However, I examine the box and see that it has a quiz on the back! Aaron and I decide to redeem my stupid purchase by taking the quiz. Why don't you step into the scene and take it with us?
1 - In The Hunchback of Notre Dame, who is killed on the steps during the song "The Bells of Notre Dame"?
A) Quasimodo's Father
B) Quasimodo's Mother
C) Esmerelda
D) Quasimodo
E) Frollo
2 - Who is Darth Vader's son in the Star Wars series?
A) Obi-Wan Kenobi
B) Yoda
C) Luke Skywalker
D) Anakin Skywalker
E) The Emperor
3 - Elora, Madmartigan, and Rool are in which movie?
A) Willow
B) Lucas
C) The Dark Crystal
D) Gremlins
E) Labrying
4 - How freakin' old do you think this candy is, granted that our quiz doesn't ask about any movie younger than 1996?
A) Five years
B) Ten years
C) I don't want to think about it
D) I am a highly ethical person and I refuse to be ageist. Shame on you!
E) I just threw up
Answers: 1-B, 2-C, 3-A, 4-B, C, & E
Aaron and I entered the world's runoff basin of undesirable brands with hope in our hearts. We weren't looking for very weird items, and, after all, we were in Huntington Beach, which is practically the home of the beach/smore concept. Alright, it's time to run around the unlabeled aisles like scrupulous little banchees and save some money! Or win some money! SUPERMARKET SWEEP! Let's find the marshmallows . . . marshmallows . . . not in the baking aisle . . . not in the candy aisle . . . NOWHERE! Moving on to our next item, wire hangers! Nope, nary a trace of those either. How about lighter fluid? No . . . no . . . but here's a classy lighter that looks like a giant match, that'll get us some bonus points, eh?
So we ended up at the checkout with none of the things we came for, but we did have an awesome lighter, some "drain-o" (which didn't work, by the way), and a bag of Blue Raspberry Blow-Pops. I felt needy for my own candy choice, since Aaron chose the Blow-Pops, so I found a box of Dots - you know, those gumdrops things - but these weren't ordinary Dots, they were YOGURT Dots. They sounded kind-of sick, but also intriguing.
We made our purchases and piled into the car. I anxiously opened my box of Dots, and a slightly nauseating smell filled our airspace, but I was undeterred. Let me see how the orange one tastes! Hmm . . . not very awesome. In fact, very NOT awesome. I don't even want to try any of the other flavors after that one. However, I examine the box and see that it has a quiz on the back! Aaron and I decide to redeem my stupid purchase by taking the quiz. Why don't you step into the scene and take it with us?
1 - In The Hunchback of Notre Dame, who is killed on the steps during the song "The Bells of Notre Dame"?
A) Quasimodo's Father
B) Quasimodo's Mother
C) Esmerelda
D) Quasimodo
E) Frollo
2 - Who is Darth Vader's son in the Star Wars series?
A) Obi-Wan Kenobi
B) Yoda
C) Luke Skywalker
D) Anakin Skywalker
E) The Emperor
3 - Elora, Madmartigan, and Rool are in which movie?
A) Willow
B) Lucas
C) The Dark Crystal
D) Gremlins
E) Labrying
4 - How freakin' old do you think this candy is, granted that our quiz doesn't ask about any movie younger than 1996?
A) Five years
B) Ten years
C) I don't want to think about it
D) I am a highly ethical person and I refuse to be ageist. Shame on you!
E) I just threw up
Answers: 1-B, 2-C, 3-A, 4-B, C, & E
posted by Amanda Lane at 9:36 AM
5 Comments:
I am still enjoying my Raspberry Blowpops.
Score one for me.
By the way, the Dots are still in your car. They're making it smell like yogurty mildew.
Don't worry, I was waiting to write a blog about them, and since I did, I threw the box away.
Dangit! I wanted some of thems!
p.s. but I kept the Dots and I'm going to plant them in weird places all over the apartment, sucker
*shiver*
I have this rational fear that I'm going to wake up suffocating in Yogurt Dots. Two will plug up my nose and numerous will be blocking my airways.
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