Ah sweet (or savory) mystery of life...

I think there should be a show on the Food Network all about the mysteries of food. There could be special features on strange dishes from faraway places, and of course, answers to viewers' gastronomical questions. Gastronomical is a nasty word.
If someone high-up from the Food Network happens to be reading my blog, I would like to let you know that my husband and I will totally volunteer to host this new show for you. What we lack in broadcasting experience we more than make up for in curiosity and the aggressive pursuit of answers. Just take a look at two recent episodes in our lives:

#1 "What are these little grainy rice things?":
Recently, Aaron and I were dining at the fabulous Rutabegorz, a local vegetarian-friendly restaurant. (BTW, Food Network honcho: the fact that Aaron is a vegetarian, and I am not, is another reason you should hire us to host your new show. He can explain stuff like, "What is the best way to cook tofu so that it doesn't taste like a tasteless blob?" and I can research important questions like, "Where can one find the best filet mignon in the world?". Anyway.) Whilst at Rutabegorz, enjoying a dish called Peasant Mushrooms, which is served on a bed of rice pilaf, Aaron and I began to muse on what exactly constitutes rice pilaf. Rutabegorz' version contains white rice that has been soaked in some delicous flavoring, along with a grain/rice/noodle thing that we really couldn't figure out. But the thing was really good, and cooked to the perfect texture. We became pretty frustrated, and instead of asking our waiter about it, decided to try and figure it out on our own. I'll be honest, Wilkepedia hasn't been much help, besides that you just have to cook rice with something other than water in order to call it "pilaf", so next time we go to Rutey's we're going to ask what the ricey thing is, and let you know. STAY TUNED.

#2: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I'm RIGHT."
A week and a half ago, Aaron and I were discussing cookies that we like. I mentioned that I enjoy an occasional dip into the golden pot of E.L. Fudge (pronouncing it "E, L, Fudge"). He laughed.
"What are you talking about? Those cookies are called Elf Fudge."
I was aghast. "No they're not. You have to pay attention to the periods, you can't just skip over them. They're INITIALS."
"No, the cookies are shaped like ELVES. So you call them Elf Fudge."
Grr. I actually had to request at the dinner table that we quit the topic completely, because we were going on like this for a good five minutes and I could feel my ears getting red with anger. Aaron, excellent researcher that he is, didn't let our inquiries stop there. He actually decided to e-mail the Keebler Elves themselves and let them settle the score. Here is the reply:
Mr. ______, Thank you for contacting us regarding Keebler® E.L. Fudge® Cookies. It is pronounced as E-L-Fudge (pronouncing the E and the L as letters) which stands for everybody loves fudge. We appreciate your interest in our company and products. Sincerely, Ruben Hacker, Consumer Affairs Department, Kellogg North America.
Of course, Aaron was pretty happy that I hadn't remembered what the initials stand for. (But I still won.) Honestly, Food Network Person: don't you want a go-get-'em guy like Aaron to be a symbol of your network? I will also let you know that he looks great on camera in an apron. Come on. We'll be waiting for the contract.