Rattling

Blogging on just one topic can be difficult for me. My brain bounces around all day long. So, thanks to Aaron's encouragment, I'm just going to blog on whatever is rattling around in my head.
1) Aaron bought me a little voice recorder thing for my birthday. I am using it to record song ideas. I can't believe I have never used one of thems before . . . life-changing. I was listening to this song by Gillian Welch the other day, called "Paper Wings", and it made me want to write a melancholy song about the time I made myself a Little Mermaid costume out of butcher paper, and the deep disappointment I felt when my mom explained to me that I could not wear it in the pool. For some reason that it is one of my strongest childhood memories. Haha.
2) Diets = not fun. I am trying to get into better shape, and I have decided that I am much more of an exercise person than a diet person. I prefer eating bigger meals and hitting the gym more often. What can I say . . . food is what my family talks about! I love food!
3) Aaron and I want to buy some tennis rackets and start to play together. I'm really an awful tennis player, but it's so much fun. He's going to kick my butt.
4) I enjoyed reading an article today in Collide magazine about the parallel media universe that some Christians create for themselves (i.e., GodTube, MyPraize, "If you like this secular band you'll love this Christian band" charts). The author did a great job of explaining why some Christians largely dwell in this parallel universe and think it's healthy, but he also provided some good arguments for why it's not healthy behavior. Here's a great quote from Jim Henderson that was included in the article:
"When Christians spend most of their time among themselves, they become odd. They develop their own language and tell each other things about the rest of the world that they'd know weren't true if they spent more time engaging with the rest of the world. And because they are removed from other people, they have no opportunity to dispel any wrong ideas the rest of the world has about Christians."
Welp, I think he said that pretty well. The article also humorously suggested some "Christian versions" they'd like to see: American Idolater; 24-Hour Witness; Crossbucks.
5) Man, I could go for a good steak right about now.

Cutting

Last night was one of my favorite nights at high school group, ever. We talked about cutting.
The message opened up with a clip from the show "Intervention". We saw a vibrant, seemingly happy young woman talking enthusiastically about her hobbies and passions, and then it jumped to footage of her cutting herself, weeping. There was such a dramatic contrast between this woman's public and private life. It was difficult to watch.
During the message, we learned four reasons why people may inflict pain on themselves: to feel in control of at least one source of pain in their lives; to give a physical manifestation of emotional hurt; to feel anything at all; to cry for help. While I have never struggled with cutting, I know that I have done unhealthy things for some of these same reasons. It was a reminder that humans always have to do something with pain. Sometimes we choose behaviors that are ultimately ineffective, but provide a quick fix.
We also studied the story of the man who cut himself with sharp stones and was tormented by evil spirits, in Mark 5. Our pastor emphasized that cutting does NOT equal demon posession, but we were still able to draw some applications from the passage. Society treated this guy poorly, allowing him to be an outcast, and trying to control his outer behavior by binding him with chains. In contrast, Jesus addressed his inner pain.
So this is what I learned: those who are struggling with harming themselves need people to come alongside of them and explore their past and present pain with them. If we really want to help, we can't tell them to just stop doing it. We can't classify them as attention-hungry and ignore them. Truly following Jesus and loving them requires walking with them through the darkness they are experiencing and helping them find healing and wholeness. That's not an easy assignment.
A frequent thought of mine as I work with high school students is, "I'm not a psychologist!" However, I know there are ways to love and support students who are working through difficult things. I'm still trying to figure out how to do it.

Equilibrium

I have really been such an awful blogger lately. No promises that this will be a good post, but at least I am writing something, eh?
Apparently, when one's sinuses are overtaken by all things unholy, and the unholiness somehow gets into one's ears, a loss of equilibrium may occur. That's what I am experiencing right now. My face feels something like how your ankles feel when you step off a trampoline onto solid ground and you still have the sensation of jumping. It's weird. Kinda fun though.