Anger
I have a really hard time with people not approaching me directly when they are upset at me. I especially get bothered when someone is acting weird, and I have a feeling they're upset with me about something, but I have no idea what it could be. When this happens, I really resist asking them what's wrong, because I feel like that will mean I'm "giving in" to passive behavior and enabling them to do it to me again. This is probably not the most effective thing to do, but it is usually my first instinct. Does anyone else of the handful who reads my blog also have a hard time with this? Or, is there a different expression of anger that bothers you? Please comment if you have any thoughts. Thanks.
posted by Amanda Lane at 2:42 PM
4 Comments:
Hey Amanda,
I would always prefer someone to just tell me to "F-Off" (so to speak) than to just pretend like everything is okay. At least I'd know where I stand with them. This applies to family as well as co-workers.
However, on the flip side, there are times when I'm on that other side and it's better--in some cases--that I would keep to myself to get over "it" instead of blowing up and making things worse. Usually, I'm in your position that you've experienced.
I took down my blog a while back. I got bored with it's direction. Hopefully, I'll have something new and exciting someday.
On a more personal note, I had to tell you: your dad came in to the crying room several Sundays ago and tried to get my son to laugh by doing what appears to be his Donald Duck impression. My son, unfortunately, wasn't impressed. But it was fun to see your dad stoop to that level.
Hehehe!
Take care and God bless.
Joe.
When someone is acting weird and I think it's because s/he is mad at me, I actually try to provoke them even further... so I cam punish them or something? Clearly not mature behavior, but yes, it makes me CRAZY.
When I'm the one who is angry, I tend to keep it to myself. I never act weird though, because if I'm angry and keeping it to myself I REALLY don't want the offender to know. I wait for two things:
1) Like Joe, I get over it and realize that I'm over-reacting or whatever.
2) Or I wait til I'm less rage-filled about it so I can confront the person more diplomatically.
Thanks guys. I can relate to both of you. I definitely prefer when people take the direct approach. Simply asking someone if they're upset just kills me for some reason!
Joe, my dad has been doing that Donald Duck thing for years - it's his automatic reflex to babies, for some reason :)
I totally agree with you. I have a friend (acquaintance?) who tends to do the same thing. I'm pretty sure she has issues with me, but rather than address them with me herself, she'll send the message through others (or those others will simply choose to fight her battles for her). It's a pain-in-the-butt situation: I don't want to address her problem, because I'm not the one who is upset! If I ask if something's wrong, she can easily say 'no', and continue to act mad, etc.
Of course, the biblical model for confrontation is always to go to the person directly rather than sending somebody else, but she hasn't matured enough to deal with people in this way. One can always hope and pray, I suppose...
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