Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Introversion v. Extraversion and, on an unrelated note, Skillz

At perhaps the point of greatest exhaustion of our past year, having just returned from high school camp, Aaron and I had an interesting conversation. He hypothesized that one's introversion or extraversion may actually not come from the true self. For example, I have thought of myself as an extravert for the past few years, but it could be possible that I want to be around people to distract myself from pain in my life, not because it actually energizes me. So I've been pondering these things the past few days. Looking back, my behavior up until college was that of a classic (although not extreme) introvert. I had my small circle of close friends, books were my other closest companions, and I was happy as a clam to be curled up in my room for hours on end. So what changed when I got into college? Did I become more of who I truly am, or less? Can anyone relate to this?
I actually did a little test with myself at camp, which was what brought up the conversation I had with Aaron. Whenever I started feeling worn out from being with people, I politely withdrew and took a nap, or read, or took a walk. I ended up needing to do this at least twice a day. Granted, I was around people constantly at camp, so this wasn't an ideal test scenario. Still, I found myself actually having a lot of fun when I was around people, because I wasn't so tired. Usually, when I start having those "oh my gosh I need to be alone or just with Aaron" feelings (which I've been noticing that I actually have a lot), I just shove them down because darnit, I'm an extravert, right? That just results in irritability and resentment by the end of the day. Not such an awesome plan. So I'm not really sure where I am on the continuum. I think it's important to be honest with myself and figure this out so I can be healthy and fully there for every aspect of my life.
On that other unrelated note, I am trying to get some new skillz, the reason for this being that I have at last accepted that I don't want to do anything for a job that my B.A. taught me to do. For the second time in this post, I ask, can anyone out there relate? Disclaimer: I absolutely love the friends I made through ICS, and I learned some invaluable concepts and principles that I can carry with me and use for the rest of my life. Plus, going through the program changed my heart, mind, and behavior in a lot of ways. I absolutely loved being at Biola and even get teary-homesick for it now and again. But, I am now on the hunt for some sweet career skillz, and am seriously considering going back to school for a bit to get a B.A. in interior design. I would get to learn about electrical wiring and building codes! Boo-yah! Not to mention, I will probably get to spend at least a couple of weeks on my favorite subject: PILLOWS. So we'll see how that goes. I will keep you updated, my little readership.

3 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

Oddly, me being an introvert was highly energized after camp.
I think there is definetly a huge nurture aspect to introversion/extroversion. I think I am an introvert 80% because I think people judge me, and that wears me out. The other 20% is probably just because I like being alone.

I am so excited for you to get to study pillows. I also am excited to see what you do to our home(s) when you're given free reign. Hoorays.

3:01 PM  
Blogger Elessar said...

That is quite an interesting observation and experimentation! I have often said that you were about the most mature sanguine personality type I ever met, and your ability to introspect is probably part of that.

It seems to me that a lot of extroverts act that way mainly out of insecurity, needing the attention of others to validate themselves. Maybe extroversion (vs. introversion) isn't so much a natural phenomena as it is a reaction to the security (or lack thereof) within us. Since we first met, you came off as a person very secure in who you were, and outgoing when you wanted to be because you simply wanted to be, rather than out of some insecurity and neediness for attention (as honestly the vast majority of sanguines tend to appear). This fact, then, makes it seem normal that you would begin to tend toward some sort of 'introversion' (as it is classically defined), because you are secure, and can handle being alone without constant validation from those around you.

Thanks for your blog. I love reading your thoughts! They challenge me often!

11:43 AM  
Blogger Amanda Lane said...

Thanks for the thoughts, guys :)

4:42 PM  

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